From Diplomacy to Disarmament: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome & Growing Through UNODA’s Youth Leader Fund Programme  

يوليو 15th, 2024

By Elisa Shafiqah binti Shahrilnizam (Malaysia), participant of the Youth Leader Fund for a World without Nuclear Weapons (YLF)

“The world is over-armed and peace is under-funded.” I remember coming across this quote by the former UN Secretary -General Ban Ki Moon when I first discovered my passion for promoting and maintaining peace. Let me share how, through YLF, I found my voice to do so. 

As a participant in the Youth Leader Fund programme, I embarked on a journey that was both daunting and enlightening. Initially, I struggled with feelings of imposter syndrome, questioning my place in a programme dominated by rising experts and scholars in nuclear disarmament. This was predominantly because Malaysia’s educational landscape offers limited exposure to these topics, and my background in peace building felt worlds apart. The programme’s focus on critical concepts in physics, chemistry, and engineering further accentuated these feelings. However, by actively engaging with my peers, asking questions, and learning along the way, I managed to keep up. Perhaps, the next phase of the YLF programme could enhance its support for participants from non-traditional backgrounds by providing context-specific modules, or other preparatory materials to help mitigate imposter syndrome and boost confidence? The mentorship component will also help to address this. 

The lack of formal education in disarmament in Malaysia thus posed significant challenges. However, I addressed these gaps through self-study and by leveraging the knowledge of my peers and mentors. 

Indeed, one of the most enriching aspects of the programme was the peer exchanges. Engaging with participants from both nuclear weapon States and non-nuclear weapon States alike, I gained insights into verification processes, technological advancements, and the core principles underpinning disarmament regimes. These interactions demystified complex doctrines, such as nuclear deterrence, and highlighted the irrationality of using nuclear weapons to maintain peace. Through these dialogues, I found confidence and clarity, transforming my imposter syndrome into a drive for deeper understanding. To facilitate even better mutual understanding and collaboration, the future phases of the programme could include a cultural sensitivity training. 

The YLF programme’s well-structured modules seamlessly blended theoretical knowledge with practical applications. This was particularly beneficial in my role at a think tank under the Malaysian Ministry of Defence. Equipped with new insights, I was able to contribute to enhance Malaysia’s CBRN response measures and shape policy discussions. Writing about my interactions and experiences within the nuclear disarmament discourse provided a platform to influence national policy and advocate for informed, proactive measures. 

Additionally, I was able to share my experiences in attending conferences and negotiations, contributing a valuable perspective on the localization of treaties and resolutions at both the ASEAN and national levels.

Elisa’s Intervention at a Meeting of States Parties to the TPNW.

A critical element I learned was nuclear justice, a concept largely absent from the Malaysian education system. Through interactions with peers from affected communities, such as those in the Pacific and Central Asia, I realized that Malaysia and other Southeast Asian states were also victims of the nuclear fallout from the Cold War. This knowledge, often unknown even to military officials and diplomats, prompted a deeper reflection on our national identity and history.  Interestingly, the upcoming phases of the programme are expected to have a regional focus, which should enable participants to specialize in influencing policies and practice in their home countries. 

Another significant observation during my journey was the gap in disarmament knowledge among Malaysian armed forces and policymakers. My work involved educating these stakeholders, highlighting the nuances and importance of disarmament issues. I had the opportunity to discuss with high-ranking officials and debate the need to modernize CBRN-related defenses with emerging technologies such as AI and blockchain. Emphasizing a human security-centric approach, I argued for the importance of creating safety nets while tackling ongoing crises, like the recent Iran attack on Israel. To improve disarmament education and awareness in Malaysia, targeted educational campaigns and policy recommendations are needed, leveraging the expertise and experiences of YLF alumni.

Elisa speaking at a workshop educating key stakeholders.

Finally, as the first phase of the programme is coming to its end, it is important to emphasize that while the initiative provided a strong foundation, maintaining the momentum and securing ongoing support for my initiatives remains a challenge for youth globally. Ensuring the sustainability of these projects requires continuous effort and resources. Notably, the YLF programme will attempt to support long-term sustainability of participant-led initiatives by offering follow-up support, funding opportunities, and platforms for continued collaboration and sharing of best practices.

The YLF programme has been a catalyst for my professional and personal growth, turning initial insecurities into a powerful voice within Malaysia’s disarmament discourse. Moving forward, I aim to continue this trajectory, advocating for comprehensive disarmament education and engaging more deeply with international disarmament efforts. My journey is a testament to the transformative power of inclusive and intersectional approaches in global disarmament initiatives, encouraging others from diverse backgrounds to join this crucial endeavor. 

Disclaimer: The views presented in this article are of the writer’s alone. The text is not an official publication of the United Nations, and does not imply an endorsement of the views expressed nor that the material is accurate or without bias.